Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.

Sixteen years old. Kid sister of celebrity train wreck and Worst Mother of 2007 Britney Spears. Pregnant.

Star of “Zoey 101” on wholesome, kid-friendly TV network Nickelodeon. Pregnant.

I’m trying to teach my 13-year-old son -- a Nickelodeon viewer, by the way -- about responsible behavior between male and female teenagers … and Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.

And what does Nickelodeon do? It releases a statement that reads: "We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well-being."

If I were you, Nickelodeon, I’d worry more about the network’s image than about Jamie Lynn’s well-being. She’s got doctors and a rich family to worry about her well-being. You probably should worry about angry parents boycotting your shows and their advertisers.

And I’d rethink that statement, too. Perhaps this instead: “We are aghast that a 16-year-old role model for young girls would engage in such reckless behavior. We do not condone sexual activity at such an early age, and we find it appalling not only that Miss Spears would choose to have intercourse, but that she would do so in a manner that frequently results in unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.”

And then cancel her show.