I've noticed a commercial on TV recently for a new product called the Uniball -- a ballpoint pen whose ink is so indelible, the manufacturer boasts, that it can't be removed from paper.

The commercial urges us to buy the Uniball because -- I hope you're sitting down for this -- there apparently is a growing criminal trend in which the bad guy washes away the amount and the payee's name written on a personal check and writes in a new, larger number and his own name. (Has anyone ever had this happen to them? I certainly haven't.)

This evil deed, the commercial warns, "is costing Americans $800 million per year!"

$800 million? In a country with a population of 300 million? That works out to $2.67 per person -- roughly the cost of a Uniball pen, I'm guessing.

I think I'll stick with the 59-cent pens I've been using.