Note to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: If you're gonna rig an election result, at least make the numbers seem plausible. No one believes you even won Iran's presidential race this week, let alone by a 2-to-1 margin.

Note to Sarah Palin: The faux outrage you're spewing over David Letterman's poor-taste jokes last week is nothing but political opportunism, and you know it. If you truly were offended by his jabs at you and your daughter, you simply would have written a letter of discontent to Letterman or his bosses at CBS or placed a phone call to the network. As soon as you started doing the rounds on the various TV news shows, it became clear you were just trying to score points with the Republican base and with voters who may see your name on a national ballot in 2012.

Note to New York State Assembly Republican Leader Brian Kolb: Your letter on Friday to CBS President Les Moonves, demanding that Letterman be fired, would have had more credibility if you also had demanded that NBC fire "Saturday Night Live" cast member Fred Armisen after the comedian performed controversial spoofs of Gov. David Paterson several months ago. I guess, in your mind, it's OK to joke about a Democrat's blindness but not a Republican's unwed teenage daughter becoming pregnant.

Note to Luis Castillo: Two hands! (Didn't they teach you anything in Little League?)

And, lastly, note to the New York State Senate: Resolve your differences and get back to work. If you don't, you can be pretty sure the voters will give your jobs to someone else in 2010.