Paris Hilton is out of jail?
Are you freakin’ kidding me?
After serving three days of a 45-day sentence?
Are you freakin’ kidding me?
(The L.A. sheriff, by the way, says she actually served five days because – wait for it now – she checked in just before midnight on Sunday and checked out around 2 a.m. Thursday. Get it? Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Five days. Seriously. The L.A. sheriff considers an amount of time just over 72 hours to be five days. Seriously.)
But I digress. Allow me to get back on track here.
She was let out for "medical reasons”?
Are you freakin’ kidding me?
Did she have a tummy ache? A stubbed toe? An allergic reaction to inmates who have less money than her?
How serious a medical condition could she have had less than four days after posing for the paparazzi on the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards?
And since when does having a minor medical problem warrant a get-out-of-jail-free card? (What’s that, Mr. Manson? You've got a paper cut on your finger? Oh, by all means then, feel free to go home and serve the rest of your sentence there. Just make sure to wear that electronic monitoring thingy on your ankle and promise not to go anywhere.)
Maybe I should try this: Commit a crime, get myself sentenced to a month or two behind bars, go to jail, then ask to go home after a few days because I don’t feel well.
I’m pretty sure I know what the sheriff’s response would be:
"Are you freakin’ kidding me?"